lonely

4th August 2009 hmmm ... nothing much happened today .. i wore a mask today to school and barely anyone notices my friend and i were talking !! hahaha .. *evil grinz* anyway, i feel lonely nowadays and i just simply don't know why .. somehow i feel so left out by almost everyone i know including my friends and just everyone i know .. i'm wondering why i feel like this .. is it because i'm more mature than them ?? somehow i feel so .. you guys ask why, eh ?? i'll tell you guys why .. well, it's not that i'm trying to talk about them behind their backs, but i've a few examples why i find them more childish then me .. - 1. HUI YI, from my saturday class' friend, used to be ok with me, but she speaks mandarin more than english .. that's not the point yet .. my MAIN point is that she's always with the gossip queens and i have to admit that i'm just so OUTDATED that i just don't know how to gossip .. furthermore, the gossip queens are also mandaring speakers ..CONCLUSION. i stick to the boys 'cause they're more willingly to talk to me in both english/cantonese while 1 is willingly to teach me a 'lil of mandarin as i seriously don't even speak mandarin at all !! - 2. i wouldn't want to metion their names here 'cause it's a 'lil inconvenient .. (incase if they managed to find my blog, somehow .. ) i used to have a group of friends just back last year, but i don't know why i just feel so empty .. there's one comment i'd like to make, though .. they talk childish topics more than talking about the future and the reality world .. i, on the other side, am always worried about the future and the reality world .. they'd always snap me out and enterain me with something else .. i know it's good to have friends who'd entertain you, but they just don't care about the coming future .. CONCLUSION, i find myself so dumb to think about the future when i can have fun in my teenage life .. i seriously find myself just being so dumb .. - 3. tuition friends became my problem too, though .. i've met wonderful friends when i first met them in primary 6 .. as i grow older, well, sadly to say that i just don't talk childish like them anymore .. i tried to have some conversation with, but they don't find me interesting anymore .. CONCLUSION, i have had always been the quiet one in class 'cause i just shut my ass up and i just don't talk .. - AND sometimes it makes me wonder if i AM a girl or not .. well, it's simple to identify a girl, obviously .. with all the pretty make ups, spaghetti straps tees, shorts/ skirts with a complete set with high heeled shoes .. I, on the other side ... ... ... well, no comments .. i don't buy cosmetics and i just hate making up .. i don't really like to wear spaghetti straps tees and i don't think that i have more than 2 of it .. skirts?? my cupboard is full of pants and jeans !! and lastly, high heeled shoes .. although i have less than 3 pairs, i still barely wear tham .. again, i would have to say that i'm a fila, nike and levi's shoes freak .. i even barely wear sandals, though .. LIFE IS FULL OF COMPLICATIONS

-aly-